The Therapeutic Value of “Maintenance” as a Life Process
We all need to devote energy to “maintenance.” No, this does not refer to some kind of human 30,000-mile check, like what you might do for your car (although healthcare would be much simpler if it only required a new water pump or brake pads at certain intervals). No, we are referring to a different kind of maintenance. What is being recommended is more along the lines of taking the time to really work through what has been taken in, so that it can fully become one’s own.
Something Spiritual—What to do when Nothing seems to be Happening
Some new year's thoughts: one of the best, and also the hardest parts of life is that things are continually shifting. If we are too busy we wish for some down time. If we are bored or under-utilized we wish for something more to happen. Amazingly, there are even times when we wish for things to slowdown (usually in one arena of life) and speed up at the same time (in another area). Wow, being a self-conscious human being is complicated, because not only do we get to feel this way but we also get to observe ourselves feeling this way and then be unsettled by it. There are also times when we don't feel like anything is happening, even if we are overly busy and our time is fully occupied. Or, we get so used to things going fast all of the time—because there is a pervasive expectation that we need to be productive all the time, especially if you have things like family, and work, and social groups, and even things that you do for fun outside of those other things—that it can be really hard to relax into quiet or stillness. Quiet might make us feel disoriented, and most of us don't like to feel disoriented. What's common to all of these?—We feel like our activity or inactivity isn't leading anywhere and we have lost our traction. What do I do if my life feels like it has stopped leading to something new?
Biographical Rhythm and Crisis: Getting Unstuck: Part 4
Change catches us off guard all the time, but it doesn't always sneak up on us from the outside. Some of the biggest impulses for change surprise us by coming from the inside. That can be hard to make sense of because we are so used to constantly needing to respond to the events, expectations and relationships of our lives—but it is true! External events, outer changes make sense in a certain way because they adhere to the laws of cause and effect. If we suffer a loss or are experiencing a lot of anxiety related to an upcoming event we could place our feelings into that context and gain some consolation. In other words we learn to say: I feel this way because that happened. We know that significant loss brings grief and disorientation. We also know that the anxiety of anticipation can easily exhaust us as we try to make sure that everything has been properly considered and prepared. Those are painful experiences but they can be rationally understood. What happens when a life change starts inside of us and therefore doesn't necessarily match any of the outer circumstances around us? It can leave us frightened and confused because there is no immediate reason for feelings of grief or anxiety that seemingly well up out of nowhere. But those experiences are much less random than we might think.
Finding Gratitude
It is a normal part of the passing of the year to look forward to the coming year and what it will bring. That is probably best done, however, by building on the gratitude of what has come before. In looking back we need to realize that we are all gifted, all blessed. Though perhaps this past year helped you experience that our “blessings” are not always the good, easy, and pleasurable experiences. Of course, we all wish for as large a helping of those as we can get, but sometimes the most potent growth comes from wisdom born out of challenge.